Supporting Other’s Mental Wellbeing

Seeing a friend, partner, or loved one struggling with their mental health can be difficult to see and we might find ourselves wanting to help in whatever way we can. While it may be easy for us to try and help our friends “get out of it,” it’s important that we check in with compassion and curiosity to see what type of support would actually be helpful. When we’re reaching out it’s important that we keep in mind what they need, and how - if at all - we can help appropriately.

Listen to Hear, Not to Respond

When faced with a potential problem, it can be really natural for us to jump into “solution mode.” While lending a hand for small tasks such as chores or errands are great ways to physically support someone, providing mental and emotional support is much different. As much as we might think quick-fixes are helpful for mental health, it can actually be much more impactful to be a listening ear, express empathy, and extend curiosity.

Try: Think about the last time you were experiencing an emotionally difficult time. If you found that talking to people helped, what do you remember being helpful? What showed that they were listening? 

Be honest with what you know

Oftentimes when giving support, it can be easy for us to say “I know what you’re going through” as a way to connect when someone who is having a tough time. There’s a lot of power in relating to a friend or loved one when the connection is there, but it’s ok to be honest when that experience is not shared. This sentiment, especially when heard a few times, can make it lose it’s meaning, or even come off as disingenuous. Being honest with what experiences we don't have can be a great way to open the conversation and show that you want to be there for them. 

Try: Instead of saying “I know how hard that can be,” try saying “even though I haven’t experienced anything like that, I can imagine how hard it must be” or “while I don’t know what this is like, I am still here if you need to talk.”

Offer support in the day to day

While it is important to be emotionally supportive, our own capacity to listen or our ability to set some time aside can make it hard to show up. Going through a difficult time can also impact our  ability to keep up with routines, day-to-day activities like cooking, self-care tasks, and maintaining our living space. It can be helpful to see if there are any areas where they would use extra support.

Try: To find a way to help, check in and see if they are willing to receive some help picking up their kids from school, or help to prepare some food that they can have. There might be some pushback, and it is okay to check in again, but be sure to honor their boundaries.

When supporting our friends during more difficult times, showing up as ourselves is integral. By being able to balance how we show up with what those around us need, we can help remind them that we are here. Each person and situation is different, so be curious before jumping into action and make sure to hear what would be helpful for them!