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Finding the Right Therapist: Why Fit Matters and How to Start

Writer's picture: Abeer Shahid, LPCAbeer Shahid, LPC

Beginning the journey to find a therapist is a significant step toward prioritizing your mental health and well-being. However, the process of finding the "right fit" can feel overwhelming and challenging. After all, therapy is deeply personal, and the quality of your relationship with your therapist can significantly influence your experience of therapy. Below are some tips and considerations on how to navigate this process and find a therapist who aligns with your needs.


Why the Right Fit Matters


At its core, therapy is a collaborative relationship. Studies consistently show that the therapeutic alliance—the sense of trust, understanding, and connection between a client and therapist—is one of the strongest predictors of positive outcomes in therapy. A good fit doesn’t mean you’ll always agree with your therapist, but it does mean you’ll feel safe, respected, and understood even when faced with challenging discussions.

Finding someone who resonates with your values, identity, and goals can empower you to open up fully, making space for genuine growth and healing.


How to Begin the Search:


  1. Define Your Needs: Start by identifying your goals for therapy. Are you dealing with anxiety, navigating trauma, or looking to explore self-discovery? Are cultural or identity-related considerations important to you? Clarifying these can help you narrow your search.

  2. Research Therapy Modalities:Therapists often use different approaches, such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Narrative Therapy, or mindfulness-based techniques. Learning about these styles can help you decide what might resonate best with your needs. Of course, you do not need to reach expert-level knowledge into any of these modalities in order to reach out to a therapist.

  3. Seek Recommendations:Personal referrals from friends, family, or healthcare providers can be a great starting point. Reliable online directories, such as PsychologyToday or InclusiveTherapists, also allow you to filter therapists by specialty, location, and insurance coverage.

  4. Consider Identity and Cultural Fit:If aspects or intersections of your identity, such as race, religion, gender, or sexuality, are central to your concerns, finding a therapist who understands or shares those experiences can be invaluable. Many therapists highlight their specializations and lived experiences in their profiles, so look for someone whose background aligns with your needs.

  5. Ask Questions During Consultation Calls:Most therapists offer a brief initial consultation. Use this opportunity to ask questions like:

    • What is your therapeutic approach?

    • How do you support clients with similar concerns to mine?

    • What does a typical session with you look like?


Trust Your Gut


The most important part of finding the right therapist is trusting how you feel during and after your interactions. Do you feel seen, heard, and respected? Therapy is a space for vulnerability, and it’s crucial to feel safe enough to share your story authentically.

Remember, it is okay if your first match is not perfect. Therapy is a process, and finding the right fit is worth the effort. When you do, it can become a life-changing partnership that helps you uncover resilience, healing, and growth.

Taking the first step can be daunting, but it’s also a powerful act of self-care. With patience and intention, you can find the support you deserve.


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